Ask Namrata is our new dating and relationship advice column on the blog here at DragonFruitApp. If you have any questions you would like to ask Namrata you can either Tweet us at @ProjDragonFruit on Twitter or email us discreetly at david.p@projectdragonfruit.com!

“There was a girl I talk to a good amount in class, and I asked for her number after school today, she seemed happy to give it to me, but said that she must let me know that she liked someone else. Now I don’t know what to do at all, do I text her and try to set up a date, and possibly get her to like me then, or just forget that whole ordeal, and move on completely??”

 

Aw, I’m sorry—that’s a tough situation. Unfortunately, based on her clear indication that she has feelings for someone else, I would advise you to move on.

She clearly values your friendship, as she was willing to give you her number, but her explicit disclaimer leads me to believe that she wants you to understand that she is not interested in dating you. In these situations, it’s always tempting to play the “what if” game—what if she changes her mind? What if I win her over? But, ultimately, that will only lead to heartache on your side. Persistence can be romanticized in rom-coms and other mediums, but in real life, it typically doesn’t work out well for either party involved. If you pine away for her, hoping to somehow cause her to feel the same way about you as you do about her, your mental health, self-esteem, and overall quality of life will suffer.

There is, as always, a silver lining to this. Her unambiguous, upfront revelation leaves you free to move on—there are so many great people out there for you! Plus, you may have gained a great friend out of this pursuit, so don’t let it discourage you in the future. Bravery always pays off: you know how she feels, you’re free to explore other romantic options, and you may just have started a beautiful friendship. Good luck!

 

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